Corrupt a Wish

Lighthawk suggestion #2; first poster wishes for something, next poster grants it but with a twist that follows the letter of the wish but runs against the spirit. That person then follows up with their own wish and the next poster repeats the process.

I wish I could have a beer without ending up back in the fucking hospital.

Your wish is granted, you end up in jail after some drunken antics instead

I wish I had a copy of Portal 2

Your wish is granted, but Anonymous shuts down the Steam servers for the rest of 2011.

I wish I had a job.

Your wish for employment is granted. However, inspection proves that your place of work violates virtually all health and safety laws and is then closed just days after you begin work.

I wish I could see colours like a normal person.

Your wish is granted. The doctors repair your color vision but slip during the process and turn you into a vegetable thus leaving you to forever look at the teal room you're hooked up in.

I wish I could win the 100m lotto.

Your wish is granted, but you accidentally wash the pants with the ticket in the pocket, ruining it before you can collect

I wish I could remember everything I ever read perfectly

Your wish is granted. Scientists give you a treatment allowing you to remember everything you read. However your personal doctor is a chakat and thus only lets you read about chakats.

I wish it wasn't so hot out.

Your wish is granted but you will spend the next two summers in umbearable heat.

I wish I had a job.

Granted, the hours are long, the pay is terrible, there are no benefits, and your coworkers are world class assholes.

I wish I was still in bed

Your wish is granted, but you got there because you feel down the stairs breaking all your limbs.

I wish I had more money.

Your wish is granted, however you left the money in your pocket of your pants that took a trip in the washer

I wish winter was here.

Your wish is granted, it is now 10* outside and you are under 8ft of snow.

I wish Space Marine character sheets weren't such a pain to write up.

Your wish is granted,whoever after writing these papers,you have spilled coffee all over them and have to restart all over again.

I wish i had some ice cream!

I sense an inside joke here...anyway...

Granted, but every bite gives you the worst ice cream headache ever

I wish the grass would cut itself

Wish granted, you are now buried in hundreds of gallons of ice cream.

I wish I didn't have to pay for beer.

Granted, but only for the cheapest shit around

Wished Deep would pay more attention

Granted,but with him paying attention this evening you now have to suffer with him not paying attention for a whole year.

I wish it was winter.

Granted, but the sudden swift severely screws up the climate and plunges the world into a new ice age

I wish I hadn't just dropped tomato soup on a my white shirt

Granted, the steaming hot soup misses your shirt and pours down the gig of your pants.

I wish the TV was working again.

Granted, you are now one more member of the brain washed massed praying at the alter of prime time programing. You could almost hear your mind shutting down.

I wish school didn't start for another week yet.

Granted, but to kill the time you are sent to Parris Island as the new "living" impact dummy.

I wished I hadn't used permanent marker on Lighthawk.

Granted, but now you've used it on yourself and look funny trying to scrub it all off......when you know it wont work.


i wish i had some chips.

Granted, your skin turns to stone and chips off.

I wish I had some Utz BBQ chips.